Got a call from the Doc in CO and when I answered he just hung up. I think he was trying to let me know that players on the FPN are about ready to have their careers hung up if we don't start producing.
Boys lets think about this, our name is the FIST PUMP NATION, and the only thing we have been able to fist pump to this year is Fredies sex's stories (and a few of norbys). Don't get me wrong they are glorious stories and worth a Fist Pump, but come on, you cant have the name of FPN and not be winning. Thats like having the name of Dirk McDiggler and not being a porn star, it just doesn't happen. So lets think long and hard about the first half of he season and make a push for whitey cup glory and start playing like team we are and the team we know we can be!!!!!!!!
QUOTE OF THE NIGHT
Norby met a lady on Monday night....."best sex he has ever had.......9 hr session"
HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT
Hatrick horn did it again, but this week he got 4....freak of nature
and one other thing happened.......dammit
So about half way through the second period. FPN down by 2 goals. Bydal gets hooked down and a penalty is called (all penalty's are penalty shots). So knowing that this is a very crucial shot, Bydal starts to get his youngblood face on and starts to think about that glorious movie when DEAN YOUNGBLOOD won it for his team on a penalty shot.
So Bydal stares down the goalie, skates around the center circle twice, skates to the puck and kicks it with his back leg up to his stick. Skates into the zone gets to about the blue line.....and well this is where Bydal went from being DEAN YOUNGBLOOD to DEAN DICKLER and lost the puck, tried to regain himself by reaching for it, TOE PICKED himself, fell to his belly, took a piss poor shot, barrelled rolled into the corner and then laid there like a dead fish..........YES folks, MATT BYDAL wiped out on a penalty shot last night..........Just a great way to cap of the night. "I don't know what happened, i was in the zone at first, i knew i was going to score, then i got to the blue line and it all went foggy..my heart started pounding, my vision was blury, my legs were weak, and the next thing i know I'm laying in the corner on my back....i really hope the DOC doesn't send me down to JV, I spent enough time their in high school" (Please watch the video with the RBK symbol in the background to the right and wait till the #2 blooper......even the pros wipe out on a penalty shot......)
LETS CLEAN IT UP NEXT WEEK, like my good buddy's rob and big say.....LETS DO WORK!!!!!
13 comments:
Byds, I think you toe picked yourself b/c you couldnt take good strides due to your chapped ass from your mega diarrhea sessions you have been having as of late! Next time before the game grease the cheeks a bit, maybe a little KY will do the trick? Not 100 % sure though!!! Well FPN, not looking good for you guys, losing to your old glorious tandem coaches-chase and fish!! Wow. Keep your chins up-Doc
thanks for the tip doc, i will invest in some KY and bring to the next game
Byds,
Don't buy any KY, just get some from Fred and Norb's they keep jars of that stuff on the night stand, like Southgate keeps icy hot within arms reach at all times. Our three keys to next weeks win must be playing position, nice and crisp passing, and for god sakes the ability to light the lamp. If all else fails horn has traditionally been a good safety net.
Rosty
its 2nd video not 3rd.
ya it moved for somereason
Dear FPN
Over here in Montana, we might play in a league where "first time skaters can score" but at least they can skate. I'd hate to see how you guys would fare over here where we hockey players can actually skate. Oh... nevermind, we know right where you'd fit in, IN THE BASEMENT!! but I guess you guys are used to that by now. Maybe Bart is just having mercy on you guys this year by not letting us play again.
I guess all the "schlep" hockey players are not only from GF but they play on the same team. Seriously guys, we all know you are better than this. Try drinking a few cases before the game.... it works for the Crush. Hike up those skirts you are all wearing and pretend like its not the first year any of you have played hockey!!
Byds, SELL YOUR GEAR and give your teamates a fighting chance!!
Blue Crush still rooting for FPN!!!
Well over the last few days i have done a lot of soul searching. I have talked to the Doc and are GM and they just said i had a bad game and not to get down on myself to much, everyone wipes out on the penatly shot. I told them i was thinking about taking some time off and to think about my carerr and see if it is time to hang them up.
But then i started thinking, fuck im an allstar............who hangs them up when u are an allstar
HAY CRUSH, anytime you slap sticks want to come back to ND and try take on the FPN please please go right ahead......the team you played last year was thrown together at the last minute....FPN is a machine that just needs some fine tooning right now, a little tweak here and there along with some KY for lubricant and we will be unstoppable.........remember you are playing agianst pee wee level ND teams out there where the sheep roam, so dont get to confident.......jsut think bart is an all star on your team....bart would be a stick boy/water boy/groin rubber for FPN.......
Love you bart
Enough with the excuses. Seems like you guys always have an excuse, and that's impressive considering you always lose!!
Sounds like you guys might be on to something with the KY. Let me know how it works for ya.
P.S. Bart is an allstar PILON in our league. I'm sure he'd fit right in with FPN.
Thanks FPN for the Youngblood throwback... that movie was probably the most formative influence in my young life. Well, Gretzky's "Hockey My Way" was right up there, but I think I discovered boners when Dean was squirting his puck fuck with his old style cooper water bottle. Takin' it to my grave.
Hay Rump Pump Nation:
Nice team leader you have there, trippin' over the blue line and then probably throwing a temper tantrum.
Biggie, you are right to call me out and I will be the first to admit I am indeed an all-star out here. However, I tend to save most of my best stuff for the post-game show in the locker room.
Seriously though, are you guys looking for a stick/water boy???
Byds,
I was at a networking breakfast this morning with a co-worker and your buddy Brian Buttfuck Idalski sat down next to her. She asked what he did for a living and he said "I work with the hockey team." I found this humorous because not once did he mention that he worked with the bitch hockey team rather than the Men's! Way to lie your face off Coach Buttfuck!
ya, shows a lot of pride he has in the program.....good hire UND athletic....Nice coach, you can't even admit who you coach..you are a douche
Bart, that blue line was a little higher than normal, i was the only one that noticed but trust me it was about an inch higher than the ice.......
If you have to be an allstar in the locker room than why not....
I will talk to FPN about recruiting you as the stick/water boy...i will keep you posted
beads
You can't have Bart. What would we do without our gold bond applicator?
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